Parental Journal 27 from Planet Elderly: More Disturbing Phone Calls

Tuesday, November 17, 2015 – morning

Received several calls recently that lead me to believe things are unraveling for Mom.

1. Nov. 12 – I called Mom a few times. No answer. Finally reached her around 2 p.m. Said she was with Dad most of the day. Thought there was a meeting today. I reminded her that the meeting is next Thurs. – Nov. 19…that it’s on the calendar.

2. Nov. 12…Mom called me back at 4:30. Thinks she needs an eye appointment. Said her nerves are a wreck. All she wants to do is cry and cry and cry all the time. “This is so hard for me.”

3. Nov. 12 – 10 p.m. voice mail from Mom…and I called her back. “Dad didn’t come home.” I reminded her that he’s at Victory Lakes. “Yes, but I want him home.” She insisted that he’s been home…said she hadn’t slept for two nights. I told her that Dad has been at Victory Lakes since March. She said, “You knew that and you didn’t tell me?!! Forget it!.” She hung up.

4. Nov. 12 – I received a call from a staff person at Victory Lakes. Mom called them and wanted them to wake Dad up and ask him why he is doing this to her. Staff person said Mom was very angry…very upset…and hung up on her.

5. Nov. 13 – 8:30 a.m. I called Mom to ask how she was feeling. “Terrible. Victor and I broke up. He wants nothing to do with me.” I asked her if she thinks he knows who she is. “Yes, he knows who I am. I don’t want to talk about it.” Then she hung up.

6. Nov. 14 – 4:30 p.m. – call from Mom. “Good. You’re home. I was worried. Thought you were coming up.” I reminded her that I arrive next Saturday. She said she was relieved that I was ok…that’s all. Then she hung up.

7. Nov. 15 – call from Mom saying the bill for the payment of the safety deposit box came. That’s all.

8. Nov. 17 – 8:30 a.m. call from Mom. Said that dad must have come in last night because the cash she had in her drawer is gone. Said she is really furious. I tried to remind her that Dad can’t walk or drive, but she claimed he can drive. She saw something that says he can drive. “You don’t know. Victor is no dummy. I’m going to the banks to take everything out. Don’t come up.” I said I will be up there Saturday. “Well, we won’t be here. Goodbye.”

So…with this morning’s call I then made three calls: One to each bank to alert them that she might come in and what her state seemed to be this morning. One bank offered to do a “wellness call.” She’ll just call to say hi…we haven’t seen you in a while…etc. The third call was to Jose, at Dr. D’s office. I asked that Dr. D. call me at his convenience either before 3 today or tomorrow. I explained a little to Jose what Mom’s been saying. Told all three that I would be up there Saturday.

Seems like the road is getting rockier. It’s interesting because when I ask myself what do I fear most, it’s my Mom’s explosive temper and her yelling. Remnants from my childhood fears as well.

About jjmummert

Just another voice in the wilderness from someone who's lived on this planet for over 70 years and faces permanent residency on Planet Elderly. Update: As of March 2, 2017, I turned 70. I'm now an official resident of Planet Elderly. Dad passed away September 22, 2016. In late March 2017 I was able to move Mom closer to me where she resided at a memory care assisted living community until being downsized to a skilled nursing senior community in October 2018 in Columbia, Missouri. I view the Parental Journal entries as part therapy, part family history, sort of a case study of our family's journey with dementia. It's quite an adventure. Recommended readings for others who have loved ones who live with some form of dementia: The 36-Hour Day; the website: ;
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